worst_rpgs

In the 28 years I've run RPG games, there have been a lot of odd moments. Long ago, I even posted a couple of them here. I'm interested in hearing about some of the worst games you've played. I mean, really, really, really sucked. Who messed up? Who shouldn't have been invited? Who brought the wrong chips? Who decided everyone should find a million gold pieces? C'mon. You've got the stories. Share'em. I'll start:

Summer, 1989.
The Cast: Me (DM), and three pals, whose names have been changed to protect the absent and/or ignorant:
The Scene: Just getting started

Me: Hey, guys.
(I set my bigass bag of books on the table at Eric's place and take in the scene. Derek's here. Carl's here. But who the f*** is that?)
Carl: Hey, Jeoff, this is Andy.
Andy: Hi.
(Andy looks like he's just tumbled out of a van full of burning weed)
Me: Hi.
Carl: Can he play? We started a character for him.
Me: More the merrier, man. What's he playing?
Andy: Huh?
(Andy doesn't realize that he's offered the most intelligent dialogue of his day already)
Derek: Well, I'm a barbarian. Eric's a rogue. And Carl's a....shit, dude, I can never remember what you are.
Carl: I'm a cleric.
Derek: Sorry. I forgot. Father, forgive me, for I have sinned.
Andy: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(Andy will laugh like that seven hundred times in the next two hours)
Andy: So what do I be?
(You see what I'm saying about Andy?)
Me: Whatever you want out of these choices....but we could use a magic user since Carl's wizard just died.
Andy: Whoa.
Me: Yeah, so do you want to try it?
Andy: Like a wizard guy?
(We take about fifteen minutes to set Andy up with a preformed template I've devised for situations like this. Maybe you had them, too.)
Me: Okay, so we're off. We just need to name him.
Andy: Merlin.
Me: Merlin? Um. I think there's already one. Right, guys? (I get nods of approval)
Andy: Conan.
Me: Conan?
Andy: Definitely. Conan.
Derek: Conan the Magic-User?
Eric: Are you fucking serious?
Andy: What, then? How do I know? So, like, Bill. Bill. Or something.
Eric: Look, sometimes you just kind of do something like look around or take a name from something else or spell your name backwards or something.
(Andy thought Ydna was too close to Edna. He was right. It would have been silly.)
Andy: Hm......um...........
(He looks around the room)
Andy: Okay. I got it.

And that, my friends, is how we ended up with Marlboro The Magic-User. We just had to let him have it.
 
To Be Continued.